My Daddy: The Septuagenarian

Happy Birthday Daddy

You taught me up from down, gin from vodka, soccer from football, lager from pale ale, left from right, standard from automatic, jokes from puns, hydroplane from airplane, Robertson from Phillips, ...everything a girl needs to survive in this crazy world.

I love ya.

xo

The Top Banana

Behold! The glories of Organics@Home!

Rosamond and I have been enjoying the weekly organic fruit and vegetable deliveries. It is a bit like C-mas morning, opening the blue Rubbermaid when we get home from work. And this week, what to our wondering eyes should appear? But the world's most GINORMOUS BANANA!!

Seriously. Two bananas in one. We had to slice it like bread. I thought it was G.M.O. bananas that were supposed to be all freaky.



I'll keep you updated on what oddities this week's bounty puts forth.

Miss. C, Rosamond, and our new house guest...Senor Banana.

PS. Please keep all unsavory comments to yourselves.

2006: A Retrospective.

I was speaking with my bro recently, and we both agreed that '06 was a sleeper of a year. Not that many exciting things didn't happen, but that the overall vibe was one of "Why don't I just cosy up with a good book, and do all those chores...a bit later."

I had a good year, trips to Thailand, Toronto, Highway 99, Seattle, and Victoria. Celebrated five years with Rosamond. Friends were married, some started new jobs. It wasn't all pretty in pink however, as loved ones battled for their lives, or felt loss. It was a big year, in every way, and to give '06 its props I have selected some pics as a bit of an homage. Enjoy.

Thailand







Toronto



Seattle & Victoria


So, I suppose, after all 2006 was pretty fantastic after all!

Look out 2007!

Miss.C



PS. This my fab bro at his new gig. He is the BEST Sushi Chef in Canada.
Seriously, Tojo who?!

Haaaappy New Year!!!!!....."hiccup"

Should olde acquaintance be forgot.... a missive to all I love and hold dear:

I have been a bit lame (not to be confused with lame with an accent ague...pronounced lamay...very different), not sending holiday cards etc...but I wanted to take this opportunity, whilst sitting on Rosamond's lap, to send all my love and sloppy smooches to you all. As I am sure you all do during the last moments of the year, I too am reflecting on a year well spent. I am far too drunk to get poetic, but please know...I love and adore you all.

All my love for 2007!
xoxo
Miss. C.

Proof that animals have emotions.

I hate to come back on the scene with a photo frome cute overload, but there was really no avoiding this.

I saw this pic a few days ago and truthfully thought nothing of it. "Oh, gee yet another photo of a dog chomping on a kitty's head.." UNTIL...I took a closer look a the wee kitteh watching the chompage.

If that is not the iron clad proof needed in the "Do Animals Have Complex Emotions?"case, then I don't know what is! Seriously, there is fear, shock, horror, and even sick fascination. I see pet therapy in that little fella's future.

x Miss.C

Home again, home again, jiggidy-jig.

Well here I be, one week home and already missing all my pals back in Canada's big TOe.
That said, it has been nice to hang with Rosamond again. Lord that woman falls apart when I am not around. The dishes...the laundry...and darling, video games are NOT a food group!

The gang in Toe are so awesome. It was such a revitalizing treat to be with people who love me and support my vices. No judgments. In fact, pedicures to celebrate the necessity of libations and frivolous shopping in our daily lives.

I would also like to bring to everyone's attention, that for all the bad mouthing we on the Wet Coast give those in On"scare"io, the LCBO is millennia ahead of BCLiquor...my dear friends...they have TASTING BARS IN THE STORES!
For $.50-$1.50 you can taste any two samples of booze. Now, here's the most AMAZING part...some of the choices include $130 Tequila, or $200 Scotch. So, one day you could try some lovely high-end Scotch, and the next day go and try one or two different wines, or champagne, or a martini...HELLO!?!? Why is this not a part of life in B.C.?
What are we Neanderthals?

AND...yes there is more...they have single serving tetra-packs of wine.



Le Petit Sommelier single serving Tetra Packs of merlot ( 3 x 250ml ) are seen here being enjoyed by yours truly and her darling Hambone. More inventions like this and the idea of being a soccer mom becomes increasingly enticing. Almost.

More on my week-long adventure in a mo.

x

Having a GREAT time in TO!!!

Don't you all wish you were having as much fun as me? To get a sense of the goodtimes being had, check out little buddy below.

That pretty much sums it up for me.
xo Miss.C

Let the good times roll...again...and again...

At Rosamond's request...

Last weekend was a treat. Simple, yet filled with fun and community. Rosamond walked into my parlour last night and said "Vy don't jou write about de nice veekend ve had?". All right sweetie, this one's for you.

Last Friday Rosie's darling daddy stayed over. He has recently moved to Powell River, but had a few errands to do in the city. Rosamond escaped the lesbians by 8pm and was able to join us at Earls for dinner. It was a real treat to be able to have a tasty meal with family on a Friday night.

Being in the medical profession Dr. Rosamond thought that a trip to Bodyworlds on Saturday morning would be a good idea.



Now, I have a rather weak constitution. I bumped my elbow the other day and had to take the afternoon off. So, as you can well imagine, the prospect of wandering about dead people before brunch was a little off putting. I am not religious by nature, but there is a fundamental understanding deep in my being that doing anything before brunch is sacrilegious, let alone perusing corpses.

This exhibition was the most amazing thing I have seen in a very long time. It was respectful, beautiful, inspiring, and wholly educational. Surprisingly, ol' Iron Gut Rosamond was a little overwhelmed and had to have a "sit down". I, on the other hand, was thoroughly engrossed. Emotions were varied, sad, happy, disgusted, enlightened...perhaps what I found the most overwhelming was seeing our organs in their pink and healthy state, sitting beside an abused toxic organ or a disease riddled organ that has shrivelled or swollen beyond all recognition. I skipped the mimosa's at brunch.

~

On Sunday Rosamond and I decided that psoriasis of the liver really wasn't that bad and took a drive out to the Westham Island Estate Vineyards.


It was a stunning drive out Ladner way, and an afternoon spent sipping delicious berry wines was the perfect compliment. We perhaps were a bit overzealous with the "free tasting", but I feel justified. They have over twenty-five flavours for christsakes! What's a woman to do!?!?

So now, completely trollied, us two old birds made our way home with just enough time to powder our noses before heading out to Bard on the Beach.

Many thanks to the Moniz de Sa's for a lovely evening. I had attended the opening of A Midsummer's Night Dream avec Mrs. Moniz de Sa, and had a wonderful time. Rosamond was in for a night of hilarity and theatrical frivolity. The Bard gang did not disappoint. Closing night was a wild ridiculous ride... Alan Zinyk comedic whore. Seriously. Out of control.

Too muckin' fuch.

Miss.C

mmmmm...bacon....

I am so sorry....but this pic had me screaming with delight and horror for over an hour.
I had to share.

Even if you look away for a moment, and then look back...
still hilarious!
xo

Some weekends are better than others.

Lytton, B.C.-consistently Canada's hottest spot.

Rosamond works very hard. Usually over 65 hours a week. In fact sometimes 80 or more. So imagine my thrill at an unexpected long weekend for us two old birds. (It's Rosamond's birthday on Monday.)
We made hasty preparations and headed out Friday afternoon. It has been a longtime plan of ours to drive Highway 99, north from Vancouver to Lillooet; then do the loop down Highway 12 through Lytton and home.

Friday night we stayed at The Pemberton Lodge. Unfortunately for Rosie there was a film crew staying at the lodge. She has a real film folk phobia. Poor thing.

Come morning we hit the road and made our way north. Not, of course, before having the most DELICIOUS breakfast at the Pony Espresso. I don't have a link, but if you are ever in Pemberton make every attempt to go to the Pony for at least one meal. Rosamond and I first went to this down home establishment in '01. It has since moved to new digs, but the food is still worth a trip to Pemberton.


Highway 99, also known as the Duffy Lake Road from Pemberton to Lillooet, is one of the more picturesque drives in B.C.


There are a few sketchy patches (re:recent landslides), but still an amazing and relaxing way to spend a weekend.

We stopped in Lilloet for refreshments, in Lytton to stretch our legs, and a number of "photo op stops" along the way.

Here are just a few pics. Enjoy.








We stayed Saturday night in Harrison Hot Springs. Never touched the springs mind, as it was "Cowboy Night" at The Old Settler Pub, so we settled in for some Surf and Turf and drank ourselves fizzy.

All in all, not a bad way to pass a weekend!
Miss.C.
(AKA: Lytton, B.C.)

3 Alarm Anniversary or Always Take the Booze With You

Believe it or not it was five years ago that ol' Rosamond and I met and became partners in crime. We have never really celebrated our long standing kinship, but thought that FIVE had a respectable enough ring to put a little effort into a night out. Now, as you well know, I never really need a reason to go out for a cheeky pint, but having a legitimate reason to get all gussied up adds a level of dignity to boozery I so rarely enjoy.

Rosamond has often spoken of a fine dining restaurant The Salmon House on the Hill, and recommended we go there to celebrate in style. Wonderful. Truly, I adore salmon and for years I have heard of The Salmon House's remarkable menu and ambiance.

Rosamond made reservations for 8pm, whilst I polished, primped, and thoroughly plucked in preparation for our BIG NIGHT OUT!

The drive to West Vancouver was a bit tiresome, as there was a forest fire in Stanley Park. We were delayed only slightly, and en route I happened to find a NIN CD in the back of Rosamond's Saturn Ion. It was going to be a very special night indeed!

The Salmon House was nice enough. However, it did feel a bit like a one stop west coast tourist stop. Tour busses, and well-to-do German and Japanese folk dining in a Coast Salish-y decorated restaurant. Not a local restaurant aiming at repeat customers. Still very nice, but not quite "fab" if you know what I mean. And the bread was a disappointment.

Well, to make a long story even better...we finally get down to our Mains. I take three bites of a lovely slow poached wild salmon and...the bleeding fire alarm goes off! Seriously! I look over at the kitchen, which is behind glass, and the entire room has been replaced with thick black smoke. There was a polite "What do we do?"moment which quietly passed across the restaurant, and then we all got up and made our way out doors.

Now many of you, to whom I have already told this story, have expressed greatest concern for the safety of my unfinished bottle of wine. Sadly, it was lost in the fire. I selflessly abandoned my carafe of Gerwurstraminer in order to help a lovely Japanese couple to the nearest EXIT. They were grateful. I was devastated. Adding salt to the wound was the profoundly French woman, with her bottle of Shiraz grasped confidently in one hand, glass in the other, exclaiming "Mon Dieu" as the flames rose higher and higher. She rather reminded me of Nero fiddling away while Rome burnt to the ground. She probably thought that this was the Symphony of Fire. I am not bitter.

Photo A

So, at around 11pm we were finally able to leave the parking lot. Oh did I forget to mention? Right. Well, we had decided to wait for the fire trucks to arrive so we didn't contribute to the mass exodus and block the fire trucks from arriving. Of course then we were stuck IN the parking lot because a fire hose (from one of the FIVE FIRE TRUCKS) was layling on the ground behind the car. As you can clearly see in Photo A.

Here's a better look at the excitement. Photo B.
Rosamond, looking pensive in Photo B, and I decided we were not going to be undone by a mere fire, and made our way down the mountain to the Cactus Club. Tried and True. With single malt at the ready. Happy and finally drunk...this anniversary will certainly not be forgotten.

Here's to many more Rosy my dear!
Love,
your Divine Miss. Creant

Filled with PRIDE

To all those GLBT folks (and friends and family of...) these photos are a mere sampling of the glorious PRIDE Parade in Vancouver. Props go out to provincial NDP leader Hedy Fry, who (tragically I didn't get a photo) strutted the entire length of the parade in purple sequins and stiletto cowboy boots! Bless her eh?


As always the parade was a wonderful celebration of acceptance, pride, and true humanity. Every year I get a bit misty when groups like PFLAG and BCPWA cha cha their way along, but this year I was also very moved by the corporate support. Starbucks, Home Depot, Air Canada, and every banking corporation all came out to support. And not just with their GLBT employees, but as a company...hetros and all.



Over the last few months I have met a number of American lads who have made a run for the border, heading to Vancouver to get married. I am not one to make soapbox speeches, but as Canadians we should wear our acceptance and humanity for others as a badge of honour. Not a grease stain on our mack jackets. Let's keep this vast land of ours open to possibilities, and not close anymore doors. Closets or otherwise.














Oh and seriously, is there anything more fabulous than being half cut, and felt up by S&M Drag Queen Nuns...before noon?

From mission control,
Miss.Creant

As an aside, that's my dear friend John being licked by the bearded nun (is there any other kind?). He is desperately awaiting his immigration status into Canada. I think we would be FOOLS not invite this upstanding young man into our country. It is my personal quest that dear John be more Canadian than poutine and back bacon before the day is spent...